Fermats Last Stand Philosopher Kripke

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Saul Kripke's song from the philosophy roleplaying musical Fermat's Last Stand. Read more at http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/08/17/... • LYRICS: • CERUNE: • Dear kind Professor Kripke • You gotta help us out • We cannot get a grip-ke • What language is about • You bring in modal logics • For reading simple text • Golly! Moses! • That's why we're perplexed! • ALL: • Philosopher Kripke, this all is a blur • We still don't understand the way descriptions refer • We aren't illit'rate, we just haven't seen • How language ever comes to mean • CERUNE: • Comes to mean! • ALL: • Comes to mean, comes to mean • What does language mean • How do we determine what words mean? • KRIPKE: (spoken) • That's not a question for philosophers! Meaning is determined by the average language user! • CERUNE: (spoken) • Great idea! I'll ask the average language user! • Dear average language user • Please give advice to me • Although you are a loser • Without a Ph.D • They say you tell professors • What they must profess • Leaping! Lizards! • That's why we're a mess! • AVERAGE USER: • Philosopher Kripke, you're really a fool! • I only use my words the way I learned them in school! • I don't invent language, I just take a look • Into my teacher's language book! • CERUNE: • In a book! • ALL: • In a book! In a book! • In a language book! • He gets his language from a book! • AVERAGE USER: (spoken) • Really, you should be asking the lexicographers. • CERUNE: (spoken) • Yes! I'll ask the lexi...whatnow? • AVERAGE USER: (spoken) • Lexicographer! Dictionary writer! • CERUNE: • Dear Merriam and Webster • With power so profound • To link a string of letters • To meaning and to sound • The way you gained your office • Is something I don't get • Goodness! Gracious! That's why I'm upset! • LEXICOGRAPHER: • Philosopher Kripke! You've done it again! • You can't define a word with just a stroke of a pen! • Prescriptivist theories should give a man pause • Each definition needs a cause • CERUNE: • Needs a cause? • ALL: • What's the cause? What's the cause? • What's a meaning's cause? • For each definition what's the cause? • CERUNE: So you're proposing a causal theory of reference? • LEXICOGRAPHER: That's right. Why don't you talk to a statistician? • CERUNE: • Dear kindly statistician • Who studies nature's laws • Philosophers envision • Reducing sense to cause • That what words mean depends on • What put them in your brain • Gloriosky! That's why we're insane! • STATISTICIAN: • Philosopher Kripke! You're really a square! • The evidence for true causation just isn't there! • You don't have a Pearl graph, or Bayesian net • Language is something you just get! • CERUNE: • You just get? • ALL: • We just get! We just get! • Even babies get! • Words are something even babies get! • KRIPKE: (spoken) • The problem is the reference: • AVERAGE LANGUAGE USER: (spoken) • The problem is the sense • LEXICOGRAPHER: (spoken) • The problem is the meaning • STATISTICIAN: (spoken) • The problem is you're dense • KRIPKE: (spoken) • The problem's private language • Which can't exist alone • ALL: • Kripke! We've got problems of our own! • Philosopher Kripke, we're really confused • We haven't got a clue the way that words should be used • Your theories don't help us, we wish that you'd stop • Philosopher Kripke, shut up!

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