Praise vs Encouragement Explore Their Differences

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Check out our FREE e-book “Are You Raising a Praise Junkie? Encouragement vs. Praise” by clicking this link: • https://www.stuff4tots.com/wp-content... • Visit the link below to access Amy McCready’s FREE parenting webinar: • https://www.positiveparentingsolution... • • In this video, we’re going to explore the differences of praise versus encouragement. • A member of the Stuff4Tots community shares her thoughts. • Welcome to the Stuff4Tots channel, made by moms and dads, for moms and dads! • Why it’s critical to understand the difference between Praise and Encouragement • “Praise” and “Encourage” are often used interchangeably in modern English but there is a subtle, but very important, difference. • The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “Praise” as “to express a favorable judgment of“. • “Encourage” is defined as “to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope“. Literally, to fill with courage. • These two definitions are telling – at the root the difference - is Judgment vs Courage. • Don’t get me wrong. I’m not coming down on praise as being a bad or negative thing. Far from it. • But what, as a parent, is important to bear in mind is that praise is an external, temporary motivator. • Encouragement gives your child the ‘courage’ from within. To self-start. To feel pride in themselves. • Which is best for positive parenting? • Here are some examples of Praise versus Encouragement. • Praise often praises the ‘doer’. For example, “You are such a good boy”. • That’s fine if your son is being good right now. • But what if he does something mean to his sister in ten minutes’ time? • How can he suddenly change into a “bad boy”? He was “good” a minute ago…. • Encouragement, on the other hand praises the deed. For example, “Thank you for setting the table”. • This reflects on the action, not the innate characteristics of the boy. • So if he’s mean to his sister ten minutes later, well, the action of setting the table was still a good thing. • Praise is often connected to an end result or outcome, like “Well done on getting an ‘A’!!!”. • And, of course, we’re all pleased she’s got an A on her test. • But what about next time when she only gets a B? Has she failed now? • Maybe this test was a lot harder. Maybe she was worried about something. • All of a sudden, the praise is a stress and a demotivator…. she’s got to get another A or she’s a failure… • Encouragement, on the other hand, praises the effort, not the end result. • So, “well done on getting an A” becomes “well done on all the hard work you’ve put in” or “I bet you’re really proud of your effort on this test”. • That way, if they dip a little next time, they can still feel proud of themselves – provided they did actually put the effort in, of course. • Praise is an external motivator and, because of that, it becomes a temporary, fleeting high – gone when the praiser is not around. • Encouragement (remember “to fill with courage”) is an internal motivator and validator. • Kids are impressionable and easily led by peer pressure. • How much safer and stronger will they be in later life if they learn to live their lives by an internal moral compass – rather than fickle external validation? • Research by Dr. Carol Dweck of Stanford University sums up the benefits of encouragement perfectly: • “Emphasizing EFFORT gives a variable a child can CONTROL. (It doesn’t matter where I am today, with effort and perseverance, I can improve). They come to see themselves as in CONTROL of their success. Emphasizing natural INTELLIGENCE takes it out of the child’s control and provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.” • Continued in video... • Do you normally praise or encourage your children? • What has been the end result for the approach you have used towards them? • We’d love to hear from you! • Let us know in the comments below. • Please like this video and subscribe to our channel to get notified of new parenting videos as soon as they’re available. • Thanks for watching! • • Liked this video? Please check out our other YouTube videos on the Stuff4Tots channel for on-demand parenting tips and topics: • / @stuff4tots471 • For more interesting articles and resources on parenting and family life, please visit the Stuff4Tots website: • https://www.stuff4tots.com • To view the article version of this video, please visit this link: • https://www.stuff4tots.com/praise-ver... • • Here are some related topics you might also enjoy: • 5 Parenting Styles – Which style do you have? • https://www.stuff4tots.com/5-parentin... • • 5 Parenting Styles - Which Style Do Y... • 10 Warning Signs of Helicopter Parenting • https://www.stuff4tots.com/10-warning... • • 10 Warning Signs of Helicopter Parenting

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