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Long Sex How To Deal With Sexual Frustration
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In this episode, I'm going to talk about long sex, love through sex, and sexual frustration. One of the most common reasons couples seek marital counseling is to learn how to deal with sexual frustration. Learn more at https://marriagemax.com/ • Mark explained to me that he’s sexually frustrated. Sex with his wife is infrequent and not exciting. He admitted to me that he fantasizes about women at work and uses pornography. • His wife caught him so she feels betrayed and asked me “How I am supposed to open my heart and be sexual with Mark when I feel hurt and shut down?” She explained that she was sexually frustrated too. • As I explored this with both of them I discovered some important data points about both their frurstration. • Amy wanted Mark’s love so much that she often rolled over and allowed Mark to have his way with her, even though she wasn’t into it. She hoped that through sex she would get his love. • Amy wasn’t fooling anyone. Mark knew she wasn’t into sex with him. And so he didn’t like it much either. • The result was the opposite of what Amy hoped for—more distance, less love. • So Mark needs good sex to feel close. And Amy needs to feel close in order to have good sex. What’s the solution? • Mark, listen. Sex requires foreplay, right? You know where foreplay begins? Not in the bedroom. In the kitchen, by the front door, when you’re folding laundry together. And you know when it begins? Days before the big night! It’s not that your wife needs love in order to have sex; it’s that love and attention is part of sex. • It’s all connected. It’s one. You want to have sex but your cutting out half the sexual encounter. You’re not understanding where it begins and what it includes. You’re thinking of more sex as more orgasms. No! More sex means elongating every intimate experience and realizing that love and attention during the day is a slow undressing of your wife. That’s what it really means to last long. • Amy, never have sex if you don’t want to do. That only leads to more sexual frustration. • You think you’re satisfying your husband, but you’re not. Because if you’re not into it then he’s not enjoying it. The best part of sex for a man is not his pleasure; it’s hers. Intimating idea, isn’t it? Mort, tell me to have more sex with my husband, I can do that. Now you’re telling me I have to enjoy it, I don’t know if I can do that. But having sex with your husband when you don’t want to causes 2 problems. • First, if you don’t enjoy it neither will he. And second, in the long run, it makes your husband sexually repulsive to you thus, ironically, destroying your sex life. Bottom line: never do anything sexually you don’t want to do. Until then, flirt with him, tease him, have fun with him, dress provocatively for him, but don’t have sex if you don’t want to. Let the desire build until you’re ready. • So that’s a path to restoring healthy intimacy and overcoming sexual frustration for Mark and Amy. Want to know how to do it in your marriage? Join me for the next Marriage Fitness Tele Boot Camp. • • If you have any questions or any thoughts or feelings about this video and our YouTube channel then leave a comment and don't forget to subscribe to our channel for more videos. • Subscribe to my channel: https://bit.ly/2Ht8DiY • Website: https://marriagemax.com/ • Follow me: • Facebook: / mortfertelmarriagefitness • Instagram: / mortfertel • Twitter: / mortfertel • LinkedIn: / mortfertel • #LongSex #SexualFrustration #Relationship #marriage
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