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25 Random Funny Quotes To Make Your Day
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http://entertainmenttrend.net - We all love a little humor don’t we? Here’s 25 random quotes that will make your day a little bit better. • • 25 Funny Quotes You’ll Love: • 1. “Behind every great man is woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey • 2. “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg • 3. “Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.” – Anthony Burgess • 4. “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” – Steve Martin • 5. “Why do people say “no offense” right before they’re about to offend you?” – Anonymous • 6. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams • 7. “I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” – Carl Sandburg • 8. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams • 9. “The best way to lie is to tell the truth . . . carefully edited truth.” – Anonymous • 10. “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?” – Arnold Schwarzenegger • 11. “A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” – Franklin Jones • 12. “If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.” – Wilson Mizner • 13. “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Joan Rivers • 14. “I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” – W.C. Fields • 15. “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hacket • 16. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” – Anonymous • 17. “If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.” – O. Henry • 18. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” – Chris Rock • 19. “Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?” – Anonymous • 20. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan • 21. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” – Rodney Dangerfield • 22. “I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.” – Steven Wright • 23. “I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.” – Anonymous • 24. “If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.” – Henny Youngman • 25. “Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson • ------------------------------------------ • funny quotes, • funny, • jim carrey, • robin williams, • chris rock, • ronald reagan, • rodney dangerfield, • steven wright, • henny youngman, • sam levenson, • buddy hacket, • o henry, • wc fields, • joan rivers, • wilson mizner, • arnold schwarzenegger, • douglas adams, • carl sandburg, • steve martin, • mitch hedberg, • best quotes,
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