1712 Seven Old Ladies Locked in the Lavatory Traditional

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This song, which appears in several versions, is a parody of the traditional English nursery rhyme, Oh, Dear, What Can the Matter Be? • It probably also originated in England, but is well known in the USA. The oldest recovered American text is in The One, The Only Baker House Super-Duper Extra Crude Song Book , which was probably compiled at Massachusetts Institute of Technology around 1955. It has been recorded by Oscar Brand among others. Some British variants include Three Old Ladies , and even a version with twenty-one old women. • Lyrics and chords: • D .... A7 ..... D • Oh, dear, what can the matter be? • A7 ........... Em7 .. A7 • Seven old ladies locked in the lavatory. • D ................ A7 ............. D • They were there from Monday till Saturday, • ........ Em7 ...... A7 .................... D • And nobody knew they were there. • The first old lady was Adelaide Porter. • She was the deacon of Dorchester's daughter. • She went there to let out superfluous water, • And nobody knew she was there. • The next to come in was Felicity Flynn • She prided herself on being quite thin. • But when she sat down the poor dear fell in, • And nobody knew she was there. • The third old lady was Genevieve Humphrey • When she sat down she found it quite comfy. • She tried to get up but could not get her bum free • And nobody knew she was there. • The fourth to come in was old Betty Brewster • She couldn't see as well as she used to. • She sat on the handle, swore someone had goosed her • And nobody knew she was there. • The fifth old lady was Caroline Cooma. • She went there to see what was wrong with her bloomer, • And when she found out she wished she'd come sooner, • And nobody knew she was there. • The sixth old lady was Bernadette Bender. • She went there to fix up a broken suspender. • The button flipped into her feminine gender • And nobody knew it was there. • The seventh old lady was Marjorie Mason. • She came in drunk and she peed in the basin. • That was the water that I washed my face in. • But nobody knew I was there. • The janitor came round on Saturday morning. • He opened the door without any warning, • The seven old ladies their seats were adorning, • And nobody knew they were there. • • You can hear a playlist of my satirical and parody songs here: • http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list... • You can watch a playlist of my bawdy songs here: https://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis... • Lyrics and chords of many of my songs are no longer available, as my website has expired. I am currently posting lyrics to the information panels on all my videos and those that are too long to post in full will be found on my new website: https://raymondsfolkpage.wordpress.com

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