Shame The Two Sides of the Coin Side 1 The Unfaithful Spouse

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In this post I speak about my own journey in infidelity as it relates to shame. I share my personal experiences, struggles, and what shame looked like for me. Understanding our shame and working through our shame when it comes to being unfaithful is critical for our own healing in addition to the healing of our mate. • As the unfaithful spouse in an affair, you may be experiencing a great deal of shame around what happened. I’m here to tell you that this shame, however common it may be, is not only not serving you, but it is likely prohibiting you from healing. Furthermore, focusing on your own shame takes away from the agony your spouse is likely experiencing. You’ve betrayed them, their world has been turned upside down, and you’re still wrapped up in yourself. • When shame rears its ugly head, take a few moments to acknowledge your thoughts. Listen to them as they come up and then challenge them. Reframe the self-loathing into a positive thought. When you think to yourself, “I am a horrible person,” STOP, and then ask yourself, “is that actually true?” Of course not. This affair is one facet of your being. Take some time to think of all the ways you demonstrate love daily. Grant yourself the compassion you deserve. • Recognize the positive aspects of your being. Talk to a therapist about your feelings and ask them to help you work through it. Remind yourself that your spouse is likely experiencing pain over what happened and ask yourself (honestly) how you can be there for them during this difficult time. • FREE Bootcamp for Surviving Infidelity: https://www.affairrecovery.com/surviv... • What kind of affair was it? • Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: https://www.affairrecovery.com/affair... • FREE Expert Articles Videos: https://www.affairrecovery.com/free-r... • Get a Recovery Library Membership: https://www.affairrecovery.com/produc... • Access 3,000+ Q A Videos, Articles and Mentor Stories • Get answers from 1,500+ Expert Q A Videos • Talk with others in the private Recovery Library Forums • “The Recovery Library gave me 24/7 support because I could be up at 3am and search for the topic I was struggling with. It also helped as a couple because we could investigate topics together so it wasn’t subjective. I trusted this information because it was from professionals who also had lived through and recovered from infidelity. Double credibility in my book.” • Amanda, Florida • HEAL with Affair Recovery: • Weekend Retreat: https://www.affairrecovery.com/produc... • Online Courses: https://www.affairrecovery.com/progra... • Hope Rising Conference: https://www.affairrecovery.com/hope-r... • Recovery Library: https://www.affairrecovery.com/produc...

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