I Handle My Own Healing

>> YOUR LINK HERE: ___ http://youtube.com/watch?v=sxuoYy16Uhk

All Rights Reserved By @iAbbouda . ° • Written by izla . ° • ☆☆☆ • Follow me on social media : ° • / its.budiii • Email Me On : ° • [email protected] • Follow izla on medium : ° • / izeyleia • ☆☆☆ • Caption : ° • I heal on my own. I don’t ask for help, but when I do need someone’s help, that is when you know how raw my soul has become and how much I am struggling. • Sitting in the corner of my room, hesitating whether I should contact my friends or my family to tell them that I need their support, I am scared to be a burden. I am scared to be someone they have to carry because they’re also struggling on their own. They would always remind me that it’s okay to open up, but it’s my choice to suffer on my own. Guilt always creeps in after I voice my feelings to them—it’s like having to apologize for being too incapable of carrying things on my own. • The regret after finally speaking up is real. What do they think of me now that they have seen my vulnerability? Are they pitying me? For having to devalue myself just to be seen as brave and independent, when all that I am is emotionally torn up. I try so hard to earn their validation and attention—but why does it feel so wrong to have their eyes focusing on me? Is it because I always remember how weak I am? • Or is it because I never liked the idea of having to earn their attention, when the only thing I wanted was for them to realize that I was never brave, that I was never independent, but only had to act like one because I had no choice but to rely on myself instead of depending on them. • Yet, every time I felt okay, I’d always find a reason not to be, as I would feel that I am not deserving of anything that connects with healing. I would always step back on the track that broke me. I found happiness and comfort in torturing myself in any way that exists. I tortured myself when it was those who sank my heart down who needed to be excruciatingly afflicted. • But I always wish to have the courage to avenge what they did to me. However, I just really can’t do so. Hence, I punish myself for being too incapable of doing the things they could do to me. • I find a strange sense of healing in emotionally tormenting myself because I believe I don't deserve to be happy. It’s as if revisiting those painful memories reinforces my feelings of inadequacy. • ☆☆☆ • Credits : ° • Created And Edited By : https://www.google.com/url?sa=t sourc... • ☆☆☆ • Disclaimer : ° • This content takes a lot of time, effort and money, yet we are passionate about creating it and presenting it in a professional cinematic way to the viewer in the maximum possible way, so please subscribe and support or send me a guidance so that I can improve the content and quality of the entire channel. If you would like your voice to appear and the world to hear it and hear the message you want to send, just record a secret voice message on the site mentioned above, and you may have the opportunity to produce a short film about it. • ☆☆☆ • Tags : ° • #Quotes #Quote #aesthetic #aesthetics • #fatigue #teens #feeling #feelings #edit #edits #social_media #podcast #listening #music #calm #brain #lyrics #film #short_film #cinematic #netflix #tv #movie #movies

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